Dangling Off The Edge
by germanPerfectionist
Summary: In which Dirk writes a letter to a soldier and ends up writing to Jake. How will this turn out? Rated T for some language and CHARACTER DEATH.
1. Prologue

Prologue

My name is Dirk Strider and I am broken. All I wanted was to be happy. To live my life without trouble and in peace.

But they couldn't let me have that. I never did anything to hurt then, but they hurt me. They broke me. They didn't stop until I was completely crushed. And now it's come to this. I will be giving them what I want, but I think it's also what I want. I'm just sorry that he had to go through this too.

Before I met him, my life was fine. If he wasn't here, none of this would have happened, at least not this soon. Don't get me wrong though, I'm glad he's here! The time I spent with him in these past months have been the happiest months of my life, at least when they weren't around.

It was horrible watching him fall apart at their hands. It was all their fault. I could have been happy. We could all have been fine.

He gives me hope that maybe we can be together after this. After the end. In time, Dave will get over this. It'll just be a fading scar in the back of his mind. My heart breaks for them both, and this is my end.


	2. Chapter 1

Author's Note

Hi! I'm sorry if this entire story is horrible... It's my first time writing a fanfiction, so I hope it isn't too bad at least! ^^;

Chapter 1

"Our class will be writing letters to some strong troops in Iran. You will be writing your letters individually and turning them in to me. I will then send them to a troop. You will be graded on whether you give me a letter or not, so I expect to see everyone's letters in by this Friday," says Mr. Zahhak.

Another stupid assignment. What the hell am I even going to learn by writing this? It's not like I'm going to get anything useful from taking to some soldier. Why would anyone even want to go throw away their life for a bunch of ungrateful people who don't even know they exist? The soldiers probably don't even want to talk to peop- "Mr. Strider, I strongly suggest you pay more attention when I, your superior, am talking!" yells Mr. Zahhak.

"If you want that, you should make or class more interesting," I reply smoothly.

"Well in that case, you can think of ways for me to do that. IN DETENTION!"

"Fine. It's not like I care anyway."

"Good. I'll see you there. Now class, to continue what I was talking about..."

The rest of class goes by uneventfully, and when the bell finally rings I just stay in my seat and wait for detention to start. Someone covers my eyes from behind. "Guesh whooo!" comes the drunken slur.

"Hey Roxy. What'd they get you for this time?" I ask.

"They foun' the vo'ka shtash in my locker, " she mumbles sadly.

"Of course they did," I sigh. "It was only a matter of time. They were probably already wondering how you manage to stay drunk all through school, and it's not that hard to sniff out a locker full of vodka bottles."

"I knoww, but I NEEED my vo'ka Dirk! I can't think without it!"

"Roxy you know most people actually think better when they are not drunk, right?"

"Maybe I'm jusht shpecial..."

"Sure are Roxy," I say sarcastically. She glares at me and opens her mouth to say something but is cut off when Mr. Zahhak announces that detention will start now. I look at the people room around me, like I do every time I get detention. Most of the normal kids are here today. Carson probably swore at a teacher, Sol was probably making fun of Kat, and Ara probably wasn't paying attention in class today. Usually there are a few more people but the teachers must have been in a good mood today.

After about an hour, I have to leave to pick my brother, Dave, up from school. I walk up to Mr. Zahhak's desk and say, "Mr. Zahhak I'm gonna go pick up my brother now. "

"Can't your parents do that?"

"My parents are dead Mr. Zahhak. As far as I know, dead people can't pick up kids from school."

"Oh... I keep forgetting that's you," Mr. Zahhak says pitifully. "Alright, just try to listen better in my class tomorrow, okay?"

"Of course Mr. Zahhak," I say. I don't even know why he tells me that anymore. We both know full well that I'm gonna do the same thing again tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that, and the day after that.

I leave the classroom and get my stuff from my locker. I go to the parking lot and find my old orange truck. She's always been good to me. Never once broke down.

I get in and start driving to Dave's school. He's in middle school right now and it's hell for him. He's really anti-social and all those people really scare him. I told him I'd drop out of college and homeschool him if he wanted, but he said I should stay in college and he'd take care of himself. He'll get through it. I know he will.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I arrive at Dave's school and see him waiting for me outside. When he sees me he comes to the truck and gets inside. "How was school today, little man?" I ask.

"What do you think?" he says sarcastically.

"Not the best then," I sigh.

"I'm fine. I can put up with it, it's not that bad."

"I'm sure you can. You know that if anything's wrong you can just tell me."

"Yeah Bro, I know."

We go home in silence. "Pizza's in the fridge if you want some! I'll be in my room doing some homework!" I yell. I get a grunt of affirmation as a response. I go to my room and start writing my letter. It takes me a while, but I eventually come up with something that sounds cool enough. Well as cool as a letter to someone I don't know is going to sound.

"Hey. I have to write this letter for some stupid assignment, so you don't have to write back. I really don't care what you do. I just gonna get the formalities out of the way now. Thank you for your service to our country, try not to get killed, blah blah blah. Honestly man, why would you even sign up for that? Personally, I don't see the appeal in risking your life for people who don't even know you exist.

Anyway, my name's Dirk Strider. I'm 19 and I'm a freshman at Houston Community College. I'm going to be an animator as soon as I get out of this hellhole. Right now I work at the Crocker Bakery. I doing this assignment for my English class. Mr. Zahhak always makes us do assignments like this. Boring as hell if you ask me. Then again, Texas is basically hell anyway, so what did I expect? You probably don't even want to talk to me, so I'm just going to stop writing now.

Dirk Strider"

Well that's finally done. Now I just have to hope that Mr. Zahhak doesn't send it to someone too boring. "Bro, I need help with my math homework!" Dave yells from his room.

"Coming!" I yell back. I go to his room and we do his homework together.


	4. Chapter 3

I'm sitting in Mr. Zahhak's class. It's been a week since I turned that letter in and Mr. Zahhak sent it off. The weird thing is, I've actually been hoping this guy sends a letter back. I thought I would hate having top do this letter exchange thing, but I'm actually looking forward to it. It's just that I've been thinking I guess, and maybe this'll be good for me. You know, to talk to someone other than Roxy. I guess I'll just have to wait and see. Maybe this guy won't be as boring as I thought he would be.

Mr. Zahhak clears his throat to get everyone's attention. "Class," he begins, "some of your letter replies have started to arrive. If I call your name, please come get your letter. Kat, Rosalinda, Emilia, Noreen, Josh, Melisa, Ashlee, Lorrie, Hugh, Justin , Sol, and Dirk." I go get my letter. Apparently it's from a Jake English. "Don't open your letters until after class," says Mr. Zahhak. "Any letter I see open will be thrown STRONGLY in the trash immediately. Am I understood?"

"Yes Mr. Zahhak," the class answers in unison.

When the bell rings, I grab my things and walk outside. There's a tree in the back of the school that I sit at when I don't have detention. It's shady there and everything is green. There's an old wooden bench right under the tree. I sit down on it and begin to read my letter.

"Hello Dirk! My name is Jake English. You may not want me to write back, but I'm going to anyway! I should hope I don't get killed! That might not be very good for my health, you know. I'd honestly rather not talk about why I joined the army. It is quite a long story, and not the happiest one I'm afraid. What's college like? I joined the army right after high school. I'm 23 right now. Being an animator sounds like fun! I'm going to be an adventurer. I'll be the one exploring new ruins, finding secret treasures, navigating the catacombs, and so much more! It'll be great!

Texas actually sounds quite nice. It may be a bit on the hot side, but that's not too bad. I'm sure it's not as bad as you say it is. You just have to work with it! If you keep thinking like that, that's what you're going to believe, but if you tell yourself that it's not that bad, you'll start to believe it chap!

Contrary to what you think mate, I quite enjoy talking to you! I hope you write back, but that's up to you.

Sincerely,

Jake English"

I'm grinning my stupid ass off by the time I finish the letter. I'll definitely write back to him. I guess I'll try thinking positively. I haven't tried doing that since my parents died, and maybe it has been dragging me down. Being a bit happier does sound nice. My life is fine now, don't get me wrong man, it's just a little... depressing sometimes. Just me and Dave, al alone in this apartment building, and we're sure as hell not going back to Dad's place. That place was hell. Every night he'd come home drunk, and sometime's he'd get violent. He'd start throwing things around, hitting stuff, and hurting us.

A few weeks after I turned eighteen, he came home drunk off his ass again. It was one of his violent drunk nights, and he threw a beer bottle at the wall. It broke in half and he picked it up by the neck of the bottle. He started swinging it around, and Dave happened to be standing in his way. Dave was only twelve, but that didn't stop Dad from raking across his face with the sharp end of the bottle. I heard Dave crying and ran downstairs to see what was wrong. I saw Dave lying in the ground clutching his eye, and Dad standing over him with a bloody beer bottle. That's when I snapped. I punched him until he got knocked unconcious. I turned to Dave and saw he had a deep gash over one eye. It was bleeding heavily, so I called the emergency room. As we were riding in the ambulance, I knew we had to leave that house. The doctors said that Dave's eye would heal, but he would have a scar over his left eye.

That night, I took the money I had saved up for art school and bought us an apartment in Houston. We packed our bags and just left. We didn't say goodbye, and we didn't leave a note. We kept driving until we reached the apartment. We may have lost the first round of the game, but we were ready to restart and try again.


	5. Chapter 4

Author's Note

I got my first review, so I dug this out! I hope it's not too bad! I wasn't sure how to end it, so this chapter isn't the best. I'll post a new chapter soon to make up for it though!

I start writing a reply to Jake's letter the next morning.

"Of course I'm gonna write back man. You're the only person who'll talk to me besides Roxy. Everyone already doesn't like me, so who knows how they would treat me if they found out I was gay. Roxy knows already, and she's fine with it. She calls it my superhuman gayness. It's kind of stupid, but I like it. It makes me feel like I'm not that much of a freak. I'll get it if you don't write back. The army has some policy against gays so I wouldn't be surprised. Sorry if this messes things up between us man.

Anyway, I guess I'll tell you some more about myself now. I live with my little brother Dave on the top floor of an apartment building. Dave has autism and really hates being with other people. My mom died seven years ago and my dad took up a drinking habit. He'd get abusive sometimes, but it usually wasn't too bad. A few weeks after I turned 18, he came home drunk and cut Dave badly with a broken beer bottle. After I took Dave to the hospital, I packed our bags and we left. We have lived in this apartment building since then, and we are never going back to Dad.

Dave has been really strong since then. He wears shades all the time to hide the scar on his eye. I told him that if he didn't want to go to school I could homeschool him, but he said I should keep going to college and that he would take care of himself. He made a friend last week! His name is John and he has autism too. He's actually really friendly with everyone so he must have some different type of autism.

I guess I'll stop writing now. You probably won't want to talk to me now anyway. If by some retarded ass miracle you decide to write back, could you send a picture of yourself? I just kind of want to know what you look like.

Dirk Strider"

I feel kind of sad after finishing the letter. This may be the last time I write to him, and we only just started talking. Maybe I shouldn't tell him I'm gay. At least not this soon.

Actually no. He I should tell before we get too close for him to just kind of back out of this shit.


	6. Chapter 5

**(A/N) I'm sorry this is so late... I've been really busy lately and haven't had time to write. I'll try to update more regularly.. Also, sorry this chapter is so short, it's all I had written...**

The letter comes from Jake, and I am more relieved than I really should be. I open the envelope quickly and a picture falls out. I pick it up slowly and turn it around. My heart almost stops. Looking back at me is a man with golden skin, black unruly hair, and a crooked pair of black glasses. He has the most adorable smile. I'm starting to like someone I've never even met. I read the letter.

"I can't see why people wouldn't like you. You are quite cool Mr. Strider! I sent that picture you wanted, so could I get one in return?

I'm sorry about your parents Dirk. You did the right thing though. Leaving him was the best decision for both you and Dave. Both of my parents are dead. That's actually why I joined the army. My dad was a general. After one mission he didn't come back. My mum tried to take care of me on her own, but eventually she got too depressed. I came home from school one day to find her hanging from a ceiling with a note that said 'I'm sorry.'

After that I was sent to live with my aunt. I was 16 then, and I had to leave my whole life behind. Once I turned 18, I decided to join the army. I wanted to be a hero like my dad. I've been in the army ever since then.

Oh and by the way, I'm gay too mate! It would be rather hypocritical of me to hate you because of it. Write back soon!

Jake English"

He's gay too? He's gay too! He could like me back! I doubt he does, but I can hope. I'm going to have to take the picture for him soon! I look at his picture again and realize that he looks familiar. Maybe he just has one of those faces. I feel like I've heard him talk too though. I'm probably going a little crazy. I should have guessed his reason for joining the army had something to do with his family. He did say it was something personal. His family is actually worse than mine. At least my dad is still alive, as bad as he may be.


	7. Chapter 6

For the rest of the day, I wonder why his story sounded familiar. Actually, everything about him is familiar. His name, the way he looks, even the way he writes! Maybe I knew him when I was younger...

And suddenly I remember. I remember why I feel like I can tell him anything, why I feel like I know him. I did know him. It was a long time ago, but I knew him.

Mom had recently died and Dad had started a habit of coming home drunk. He'd usually stumble upstairs and go to sleep immediately, but sometimes he'd get violent. One day after he came home drunk I was sick of it. I left the house and ran to the park next to our house. It was freezing, but it was still better than being home. The wind was blowing, which made the old, rusty swings seem to move by themselves. Every time they swung, they gave a eerie creak. The dark clouds covered the stars and moon, making everything pitch black. Suddenly, I heard footsteps. I froze, afraid that whatever it was might hurt me. The footsteps kept coming closer and closer. The cold mixed with my fright made me shiver. The footsteps stopped in front of me. I looked up slowly and saw a boy. He looked like he was a few years older than me. "Hey!" he said in a cheerful voice, "Wanna go on an adventure?"  
I just wanted to get away from it all, so I said yes. We ran around the forest by the playground until dawn. I had the most fun in those few hours I had in a years! Before I left, he told me his name and asked if we could meet at the playground again. I agreed happily and we met there every day afterwards. I was 12 and he was 16. Before long, I thought I was in love with him. He was all I ever thought about. I could have talked with him for hours on end, just to hear his voice.  
But one day, he didn't meet me at the playground. I thought maybe he was sick, so I decided it was nothing. After a week, he still didn't show up. I stopped going to the playground and never saw him again, until now.  
I turn on my computer and start writing a letter to Jake to tell him about us knowing each other.  
"Hey Jake. When you were sixteen, did you play with a twelve year old named Dirk? Well that was me. We used to explore the woods around my house. we met every single day, and would run around for hours. One day you stopped coming. Why did you stop? I never saw you again. You never said goodbye, you never told me you were leaving! You probably had a reason, but still. You could have called or something at least! I was worried about you Jake. I really was.  
Anyway, I attached the picture of me. Cool is my middle name English, and don't you forget it.  
Dirk Strider"  
Maybe I would finally find out why he never came back.


	8. Chapter 7

**A/N**

**Since you guys are so FABULOUS (and since I'm really bad at updating on time), you get a DOUBLE UPDATE! This chapter is kind of short but it had to be.**

* * *

I wait for his letter every day. When the mailman finally drops off the letter from him, I open it eagerly and start to read.  
"I believe I did play with you back then Dirk. Before I moved to Louisiana, I lived on a private island with my mom. My dad was in the army. One day we got a letter in the mail. It told us that my dad had been killed on the front lines. My mom locked herself in her room for a week. She wouldn't come out for anthing. When she came out, she said we were going to leave. We packed our things and got on the plane to Sibley, Louisiana. The day I found you was one week after I got to Sibley. I loved going on "adventures" with you, and if it was my choice, I never would have left. Then my mom killed herself. The police sent me to my aunt's house that same day. My aunt refused to let me call you. She kept saying stuff about how I should leave my old life behind and just start over. She was nice enough, it's not like she was abusive or anthing, it was just boring. I was always either in school or cooped up at home. I made plans to join the army when I turned 18. The day I turned 18, I enlisted. They sent me to Iran a year later, and I've been there since then. Honestly, it's lost its appeal. I just want to leave this place now. I want to leave this war behind and start again. I hate killing people. It hurts Dirk! It really hurts! I lie awake at night wondering who's father I killed. Wondering which family's ruin I'm responsible for. I hate it! Maybe they'll discharge me soon. I've served for four years, maybe I can finally go home!  
Could I visit you when I leave? I'd really like to see you again!  
Jake English"  
Wow... He went through a lot. I knew his situation was bad, but I didn't think it was that bad. I write a reply to his letter and go to bed.


	9. Chapter 8

Dave's P.O.V

It's been a few months since I started middle school and it's still just as shitty as it was then. Almost everyone hates me and I hate them all right back. I do have a few friends now though. I have Rose, a really smart chick who likes to try to be my shrink or something. I have Jade, a nice girl who's a little obsessed with this TV show about squibbles or squiddles or whatever the hell they're called. We go frog hunting together a lot. Most of the ones I catch die, so I just stuff 'em in some jars. And then there's John. I don't even know how to describe him. He has autism, but I guess it's different than mine. He's really nice and treats everyone like his friend. He says I'm his best friend though. He has messy black hair and these buck teeth that would look ridiculous on anyone else, but he makes 'em look cute. His eyes are a really bright blue. I think I like him. I don't know when it started, but I do.

I'm snapped out of my thoughts by Jade. She yells at me to come to her. I do, and ask her what she needs. "What I'm not allowed to say hi to you anymore cool kid?" she asks, smiling.

"Don't be stupid Jade," I reply, "We still on for frog hunting today?"

"Yeah! I saw a really cool white frog there yesterday. Its eyes looked like they were changing color! Maybe we can find it again today!"

"Sounds kinda weird. You sure you weren't high or something Harley?

"Shut up Dave. I know what I saw!"

"Sure ya did. I gotta get going. See you at lunch," I say, heading towards my next class.

"Bye!"

Maybe school is getting a bit better. Just a little.


End file.
